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Link to my Storybook! 

Comments

  1. Hello Jana,
    I love your idea for your storybook! After reading your introduction I instantly wanted to read more, but then I noticed that you have not yet posted the next story. The one thing that i really love about your theme is that it almost sounds like a TV sitcom. Following a young actress achieve her dream in a big production of the Indian Epics is something I never would have thought of but know that you have published it as a story I can not wait to read more.
    Also I noticed one small grammatical detail and that is the sentence "My parents raised my siblings and I..." I believe that this should actually say "My parents raise me and and my siblings..." I used to struggle a lot with that phrase but I have learned that it is easy to get it right by checking if it would make sense without the additional thing, (i.e. "Siblings"). I hope that helped and I can't wait to read more!

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  2. Hello Jana! I am here from your project website. I also read Tiny Tales from the Ramayana. I went back to the original to get a better understanding of the changes you made. I have to say that this was a very fun read. The details that you included gave the story a bit more depth which was certainly engaging for me as the reader. One thing I would mention is that the story doesn't exactly have a title. It just says "Part 1". Now if you planned to continue the same story this certainly makes sense. If not, I would recommend giving it a unique name. Either way the story was an exciting read. As for your website itself, I like it a lot! It is very visually appealing. I like how yo have different pictures for each of the tabs which is neat. Not only does it look good but it is also easy to navigate from page and page and find exactly what I'm looking for. Great job! Looking forward to reading more from you!

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  3. Hi Jana. I just read your introduction and first story, and I thought it was really good. What I really liked about it is that it seems like it parallels the love story between Sita and Rama. Except this time it seems like it is from the point of Sita which I really like, because in the Ramayana we sometimes do not get a lot of Sita's perspective. Shifting to the focuses of the way the story was told, I think you did a really good job. For example, I thought the dialog between the characters was really good. I also thought you did a good job of getting Anika's perspective as she talked to Anil. And you also did a good job showing Anika's excitement when she was selected to play Sita in the play. Overall, you did a really good job introducing and telling your first story, and I cannot wait to read the rest of the story and see how it turns out for Anika.

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    1. Thank you so much for the kind feedback! It was definitely a goal of mine in this Storybook to give us that female perspective, and I love modern parallels so Anika and Anil's story will definitely be a mirror of Rama and Sita for the most part. I hope you keep reading to see how it ends!

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  4. Hey Jana,
    I loved the layout of your website. It is so aesthetically pleasing! Also you did a great job choosing the name for this blog as it was the first thing that got me intrigued. I also enjoyed your writing style, it made me feel at home. It is like a blog I would actually read in my free time for fun. Your introduction was PERFECT! It made me curious about Anika's life and I wanted to read more. The whole idea of you revolving this storybook around Anika is also very cool. The first meeting of Anil and Anika seemed just out of a movie. I could imagine it and the pace was just right! I am curious what were other people's reaction to Anika and Anil dating? Did the director think it was a good idea? I am cheering for the couple! I am also curious if Ravana is going to be the other protagonist. I usually find myself cheering for "other guy." Is he going to be charming and sweep Anika off of her feet? Or is he more of a villain-y character? I am pretty eager to read what will happen next!

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    2. Rishikaa, I so appreciate your kind words! It is so nerve wracking to know that something I wrote is out there and is going to be read/commented on by other people and so I'm glad it's being enjoyed. I hope you'll keep reading to find out what happens!

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  5. Hi Jana!
    Your site is so nice to look at! That for me is a big indicator of whether or not I continue you reading just because aesthetics help my eyes focus in on the reading. You have a really good layout and a well set concept. I really enjoyed what you have done so far especially because it makes it easier in a sense to picture the scene between Rama and Sita play out with it being it being modernized. A couple things I would touch on is maybe seeing Anil's side as well. From what it seems like from her perspective, he was into her and felt the chemistry as well, but from his side is he feeling exactly the same way? Is he nervous? How did Anil feel after finding out she lied to him about being one of Sita's sisters? Overall well done and I am excited to see where you go form here!

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    1. Keana, Thank you for your kind words! I completely relate to the need for good aesthetics in order to keep reading. I'm glad my site works well for you. I'm not sure if I'll be able to show Anil's POV, just because of word-count maximums, but I'll definitely think about it and see if it can be included somehow!

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  6. Hi Jana!
    I really enjoyed reading your storybook so far and can't wait to see where Anika's story goes from here! Your idea for modern take on the Ramayana is so great. I am also curious to see how filming goes for them. I will be interested to see how what happens with Anika and Anil echoes what is happening in the Ramayana for Rama and Sita.

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  7. Hi Jana!
    I absolutely loved your storybook idea! Your writing is so easy to follow and it is very easy to visualize it in my head with all the details you include. It kind of reminds me of Indian serials I used to watch growing up. Something I would suggest for your stories are to switch perspectives of the narration to Anil or Eshan. I think it would be so interesting to read the man's perspective. I am very excited to read more of Anika's story, you can do a lot with the plot you are building. Eshan is definitely suspicious and does not have the best intentions! Great work!

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  8. Hi Jana,

    A Modern Epic Part 1,

    I read some of your introduction and can tell that you are familiar with the stories in your writings. I love your twist on the average stories. You are producing the story. Which makes a lot of since because you are an expert in them. I directed a show for University Sing and remember running lines over and over again with the potential cast trying to find the right fit. You did an excellent job portraying the frustration. What a sweet meet-cute. I love that characters had instant chemistry. Amazing descriptors during the kiss scene. I could picture exactly wha you were describing and even got butterflies in my stomach. I appreciate that you included Anil bumbing into a table. It adds an ounce of reality and shows just how transfixed Anil was.

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  9. Hi Jana

    A Modern Epic Part 2,

    I’m so glad you continued this story. I love Anil and Anika together. Ahhh the infamous friendzone. Poor Eshan. Not sure if I believe that Eshan did not know what he was doing. A lot of men are excellent gas lighters. Okay I knew Eshan was not good news. It had to be extremely uncomfortable for Anika to film these types of scenes to begin with, and then Eshan had to act like a creep. I appreciate that you didn’t include the physical assault in your version of the story. I know the original stories are very old and written in a different time. But in today’s world it has become exhausting and mentally painful for sexual assault survivors to have to relive those moments through film. OH NO!!! What a tragic ending wish there was a part 3. I hate the way romantic comedies always have tragic misunderstandings.

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  10. Hello Jana!
    This is my first time viewing your project, and I think that it is very nice! The image you have on the banner for your home screen is really nice and serene. I LOVE the introduction for your storybook! In my COMP class, my professor would always tell us to have an attention grabbing introduction I think you have absolutely taken the cake for attention grabbing intros. Two lines in and I was hooked! This story sounds like it took a lot of planning. Im wondering if you kind of had the big picture for this all along or if you were coming up with it as you went along. Either way, I think you did a wonderful job. Your story was such an enjoyable read and a nice way to end my night. I wish you the best of luck on this project and with the rest of your finals!

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  11. Hi Jana! I really enjoyed reading your storybook! I really liked how you modernized the story of Anil and Anika and showed a true love story between two characters. You did a very good job of this and your introduction to the story was very capturing and gave good background information. I do like how you went about including Eshan. Even though he had to be a bad character, you didn't make it too graphic but you still did a very good job with him. I hope you finished the semester the way you wanted and good luck to you in the rest of your endeavors.

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  12. Hi Jana!
    Your storybook is amazing. I love the idea and I think you executed it very well. One thing I think you should have added into the storybook is a little table of content on the first page. Since you have a storybook you would not need to give little summaries about the story like a portfolio would. However, I think something on the home page would look a little better than just an empty home page. You could also add a short bio about yourself too. As far as the story itself, it is one of the best I have read so far. It's super creative and very well written. From the very first two sentences of the story I was hooked and wanted to read more. I think relating the stories of the Ramayana to today is very cool and also a good way for your readers to connect the stories of the Ramayana to things they know today.

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  13. Hello Jana!
    I love the premise of your storybook, and I think the final product delivered exactly what you intended! I think the design could've been done a little better, as some of the headers were pixelated due to low resolution, but that's not a major problem. The modern adaption of the Ramayana in a film setting where they're... adapting the Ramayana was an amazing idea to bring the tale back in a different light. I liked how as the filming progressed, elements of the Ramayana were also at play between the actors, and their real-life emotions and actions were reflecting the age old tale of the epic. Your writing was amazing and did a great job keeping me hooked, as I didn't notice any awkward transitions between paragraphs and chapters, or any distinct flaws in the writing. I was very invested reading it from start to finish, and was able to say that it's one of the best stories I've read throughout this class.

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